Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just puked most of my soul out..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
