Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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