Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize