just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
