think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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