Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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