she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize