its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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