U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
