I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
