She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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