I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize