I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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