I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
