oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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