I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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