Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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