I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
