she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
