yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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