i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
