My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
we should paint friendship bongs
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
