So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
