I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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