A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
