Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
