i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
