Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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