what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize