I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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