Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
