I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
