I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
