Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize