is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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