yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
