so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
