"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
