i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
