erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
