Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
