what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
