dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No stitches, just platelets and will power
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
