So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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