5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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