Sry I called you an 8
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He shit in the fireplace
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
