drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
