I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
