Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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