she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
