im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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