4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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