Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
