Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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