you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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