And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it glows. i had to have it.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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