where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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