i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
