Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
please don't ironically join a cult
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