awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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