Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
