I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
