I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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