It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
