the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
