No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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