just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize