Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
