drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
