Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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